If you’re the kind of parent that doesn’t believe in traditional punishments, as a means and way to discipline, then positive disciplining methods are the ones for you. The objective of positive discipline is to use methods such as prevention, distraction, and substitution to restrict your child from doing things you forbid.
Parents who practice positive disciplining, vouch for these methods, as it helps strengthen the bond between parents and children and removes the ‘fight’ or ‘battle’ between them both. Hence, teaching your child that it is possible to respond to tricky situations without threats, time outs, bribes, yelling or worse, physical punishments.
Here are 4 methods you could explore, while trying to discipline your little one.
1. Discipline yourself. Lead by example
Children learn through imitation. So, if you are aiming at disciplining your child. Discipline yourself. If you leave your wet towel on the bed, or leave a coffee cup at your work desk, your child will think that is how it is supposed to be. Apply to self, what you expect from your child, and watch yourself symbiotically grow.
2. Let us Redirect them, to another task
Children have stifling attention spans. So, it is quite easy to help them shift focus, if something they’re doing isn’t working out. For instance, if you see your child playing with something potentially dangerous, introduce him to another toy, that can hold his attention. For an older child, tell him what he can do instead, rather than restricting him. So, if he has had too much TV, suggest a quick walk to the park, or a quick game or puzzle, that he could indulge in, instead.
3. Responsibility, that is age friendly
Your child is likely to succeed, at something he can do easily. Giving him clear instructions about what you want him to do, so he knows what should be expected.
Your child may be daunted by a request to “tidy your room”. It’s not specific, and may involve several steps, such as putting away clothes, tidying the room and straightening the carpet. The best way that has helped me has been giving choices like, “Do you want to put your toys back into its box first or the books on the shelf.”
Giving your child chores that require some effort, but are achievable for his age, will increase his sense of independence. Make him a small part of bigger tasks, like laying the table, or folding clothes. He could fold the dusters, the hankies!
Although your child still has a short attention span, you can start to teach him to get chores out of the way before relaxing or having fun. He’ll get the message when you say, “Yes, I want to take you to the pool! But first we need to clear up your study table!
4. The three C’s of Discipline – Clarity-Compassion-Connection
Clarity – Be Clear on your expectations on discipline from your child. Only if you’re clear in your mind, will you be clear in your communication to your child.
Compassion – Children are young, their minds, pliable. So, treat teaching with compassion. Lead the way, and they will follow. Putting them down, while disciplining them, will only confuse them, and they may end up rebelling, rather than adhering to what you want to convey.
Connection – Your children are extensions of yourself. Even when they grow up, they will continue to be reflections of who you want them to be. So, stay connected. Through teaching, imparting and leading, and watch them blossom into good sensible human beings
5. Setting healthy limits and being consistent
Categorize situations in your mind or paper as acceptable, negotiable, not acceptable. Then pick your battles accordingly. A child who hears too many no’s in the entire day will be confused on what exactly is your priority and what is not. So be wise on what limits you want to set and most importantly stick to it no matter what.
Thank you Veera for choosing me as your Mumma <3