When I delivered my baby girl back in April 2019, I was not even close to being exhilarated. Veera was a premature baby and was in the ICU for a week. She had tubes all over her face and hands. Couldn’t figure out how beautiful she was. I was scared, tensed and guilty to the core. All I did was prayed to God to bring my baby healthy back to me. On the 8Th day finally I could see her and hold her in my arms. That feeling of bliss, the feeling of ‘im going to give you the best in life’, kicked in. But then reality hit me, after a few days with all the crying and pooping and zillion diaper changes and sleepless nights and pain, one thought continuously ran through my head- “Oh god, what the hell did I get into”. I still wanted to give her the best, but I was so overwhelmed with the 180 degree shift in my life.
Being a counselor and a child psychologist myself, I researched a lot through parenting books, blogs and vlogs before delivery. Most of them dealt with newborn hacks, and raising future ready kids and so on. Very few of them dealt with what should you do to remain emotionally and mentally sane. And if you ask me, thats more important than being physically strong. The next time you meet a new mother, ask her “How are you doing physically as well as emotionally?”
So here I am to tell you that ‘Mommies, I know it can get tough, but you did get into the right thing, and only you can make it a joy ride’.
Here is my list of the things that I did (and maybe you can too) that helped me tremendously for having a joyful 1st year and kind of a peaceful one too.
1. My daughter is my teacher
I had come across this statement many times before during my pregnancy, but never really understood the positive impact it can have on your mind until Veera was born. So since day 1 with Veera, I implemented it and I kept telling it to her and myself. Every single day I looked forward to what she is going to teach me today. Did it help? You bet it did; in so many ways. I stopped feeling that I was stuck (which I did initially). I became more solution oriented than problem driven. I started to become more patient, tolerant, understanding unconditional love and started to live in the moment. But most of all it helped me in managing my emotional outbursts (which by the way you will have after you have delivered). So go ahead mommies, say this to your little ones and to yourself and feel the storm settling in (well, a little 😊)
2. Smile and have fun
A simple thing as it sounds but has tremendous power. Enjoy every single moment with your little ones. The best stress buster EVER. All of us look at parenting as a responsibility, a task that we need to get done with, to check if they are reaching their milestones, are they putting on enough weight, to teach them a million things, managing screen times, discipline, life skills and the list goes on. I did too. But before we think of doing all this, the most important thing that we as parents need to do is to smile and have fun. Its only then you will start enjoying your parenting journey. So just play a with them and have fun. Every single time I see Veera, I still smile at her. Even if she runs in and out of the room 10 times in 1min 😊
Whenever I felt overwhelmed (which I did quite a lot initially) I would just stop. I’m recommending this to you too. STOP doing whatever it is that you are doing. Take a moment and just BREATHE deeply. Then remind yourself of the above two points and then DO whatever you were doing. Because believe it or not your littles ones sense everything – your touch, your smell, your tone while speaking to them, your energy and most importantly your emotions.
4. Have realistic expectations
All of us have a certain blissful perfect image of how life would be post delivery. Well it’s a trap. The reason being the war between expectations vs reality. I’m not saying you cannot have a blissful and perfect life post delivery. I’m just saying do not expect it to be all rosy. Accept the situation and then take it in your stride to create that image for yourself. Trust me this will give you a peace of mind.
5. Leaning tower of support
If you thought you worked a lot in your office, think again because lots and lots of work (physical, mental & emotional) is coming your way. A very important aspect of the first year is surrounding yourself with people who are physically and emotionally ready to help and guide you. It can be your husband or mother or everyone (if you’re lucky). Hook on to them. They will help you be sane J So delegate work to them, take time off and sit in your favourite café and sip on your favourite drink. You totally deserve it.
Thank you Veera for choosing me as your Mumma. <3